MoldovAnn

During our PCV training, we have had numerous conversations about living “in a fishbowl.” Foreigners in general, and Americans in particular, draw a lot of attention, especially in a small village where most people may have never met a foreigner in their lives. There is not a word in Russian for the American concept of “privacy,” and it can be quite a struggle for a PCV to learn to live with all the attention (99% of it is well-meant), again, especially in a small village where absolutely everyone knows everyone’s business. OBS — the radio call letters for “One Baba (old lady) Said.” I mentioned that everyone in Tvarditsa knew by Tuesday morning that I’m a vegetarian, right? Once I’m living there, they probably will also know if I didn’t eat as much today, if I went to Chisinau for the weekend, if I got a package from America, etc. I had another taste of this, though, when staying at Anna & George’s house. The first night, I took a quick shower, but apparently she thought it was abnormally short. About 30 seconds after I turned the water off, she asked through the door if something was wrong, was I having trouble with the faucet or the water heater? Why did I take such a short shower? Of course, she meant well and I wasn’t bothered by the attention or question, but I can certainly imagine that if that much attention is given to my daily routine on a regular basis, it could get irritating!

I’ll have to revisit this topic later, as well, after I have more experience with being viewed “through the glass” of the fishbowl.

The part we haven’t talked about at all during training is the fishbowl we live in right now. This time, I mean the itty bitty, teeny tiny world in which I exist right now. On a daily basis, I speak to exactly 5 people: Alyona, Anya, Viorica, Matt and Emily. It’s great, and damn lucky, that I like all of them so much. The “Russians” apparently tend to have more drama amongst them each year, which I think is perfectly understandable since we are the smallest trainee group, but I’m very glad that we all get along reasonably well. It wears on any relationship to spend so much time together, though. I’ve done pretty good over the last couple of years to try to live by The Four Agreements (a great little book by Don Miguel Ruiz), and I am exploring and realizing this code of conduct in a whole new light here in Moldova. (1) Be Impeccable With Your Word: when you have very few words with which to express yourself, and you aren’t even sure of what you’re saying sometimes, this needs to be interpreted creatively. (2) Don’t Take Anything Personally: in general, I’d gotten pretty good at this one in the U.S., not taking to heart someone else’s attitude or behavior. Here, however, I have found myself inordinately obsessed with to get along with people. Once I put in perspective that it’s just plain hard if 20% of the people in your world (e.g., 1 of the 5 people I interact with on a daily basis) is upset with me, it’s more understandable why I might have a hard time not letting it get to me. (3) Don’t Make Assumptions: if you want to master this one, move to Moldova; absolutely nothing here is as an American expects things to be, so, in a way, the unexpected becomes the expected. I’ll tell you the milkshake story later as a perfect example of this. (4) Always Do Your Best: the most important part of this agreement, for me, is to remember that my best is different every day. Some days I’ll learn all kinds of new words and phrases and even express an intelligent, adult thought or two; other days, I’m lucky if I can tell someone what time it is. There was the time when someone asked me when I had studied Russian before, and I answered 9:00 am. Or the time someone asked how old my parents are, and I said “My mom’s a consultant and my dad works at a bank.” Or the time someone asked if my job was being held for me until I returned to the U.S., and I said “No, I sold my house.” Some days I’m just gonna sound stupid.

Oh, the milkshake story. Emily and I went to a cafe last Friday night, and we saw on the menu milkshakes. It just sounded good, so she ordered a chocolate one, and I ordered a strawberry. After 5 or 6 minutes, our anticipation rising as we swapped stories of the best ice cream places in our hometowns, the waitress finally brought us two tall glasses. She put one in front of me and said Chocolate, and one in front of Emily and said Strawberry. They were both exactly the same shade of white. We gave each other quizzical looks, took a sip, and switched to see if the other one tasted like what either of us had ordered. Another sip, and we decided that this was not exactly what we had had in mind. I’m pretty sure we were served two tall glasses of cold milk, which maybe had been shaken or stirred to produce a little splash of froth on top, and it’s also quite possible a flavor wand had been waved over the top of each glass but most definitely no flavoring was actually put into either glass. Well, we drank our milk, which also was something neither of us had had for quite a while, and headed to McDonald’s for a real milkshake. Every PCV ends up there at one point or another, and I have to admit, the experience was so damn normal, I was completely confused in a whole new way. We all know there is Culture Shock when you visit or live in a different country. There is also Re-entry Shock when you return home (sometimes called Reverse Culture Shock, but I think that’s a misnomer- the reverse of Culture Shock is not being shocked!), especially after a long time abroad. Well, I had a tiny bit of that at McDonald’s where the experience was so very American (the cashier smiled, spoke English, was friendly, joked with us, and filled our orders quickly; not to mention, the strawberry milkshake was exactly what I had hoped it would be, which also means it was exactly unlike what I expected, if you can follow my confusing circular logic).

One more random thought for the day: We are finally learning how to talk about Peace Corps in a normal manner, i.e., vocabulary, phrases, etc. I was so damn proud of myself the other day, I was dying for someone to ask me about Peace Corps! Anya asked something, and I whipped out my flashcard to proudly answer in Russian “Peace Corps is an American governmental organization that helps developing countries.” I stood there beaming, like a school kid who just spelled a tough word correctly in the regional spelling bee. Anya, on the other hand, said “We’re a ‘developing country?’ That’s interesting.” Stupid me had been so busy thinking about how to say something, I hadn’t thought about how it would sound. The Moldovans I’ve talked with about Peace Corps know it well and firmly believe that it is much needed here. I’m sure, however, that Anya won’t be the last person who feels a bit insulted by the notion that they are receiving some kind of “humanitarian aid.” After all, just a short decade ago, they were part of the great and might Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, one of the largest and most powerful nations on the planet, not just technologically advanced but a leader in technology development. Yes, there’s some propaganda in there, but they did put the first man, and woman too, in space. True, Moldova rode on the back of that fame and glory, but nonetheless, it left it’s mark and I suppose not everyone here thinks this is a country that is “developing.” I learned an important lesson from that brief exchange, and I won’t forget it easily.

And my final story to tell for the evening — I’ve just returned inside at 11:59 pm after standing on the street for about 20 minutes. We had another earthquake tonight, this time it came with an aftershock. The folks here bet it was at least a 5, maybe close to a 6. They assure me it’s not so common to experience two earthquakes in less than 2 months, but since I’ve got nothing else to compare it to, I’m hoping this is not something I need to prepare myself to encounter regularly over the next 2 years! Most importantly, no one was hurt, everything is fine. We’ll check the news tomorrow for the official report. Sadly, I know people in Japan were not so lucky. We saw on the news tonight that there was a terrible earthquake there, and we were all so sad to hear of the loss of life and the all the injuries there.