MoldovAnn

As we were about to walk out of the internat after filming, Peter remembered that his girlfriend had asked him to find out if there are any volunteer opportunities with the kids. One of the teachers pointed us to the director’s office, and we were pleased to find a very kind and welcoming man. He told us that the school is for mentally disabled children from all over the city of Kyiv. Because the commute for some children could be as much 2 hours in each direction, the pupils are given the option to live in the boarding school all week long. Some other children live there because of bad home situations - alcoholic or drug abusing parents, for example. And some children live there because their disabilities are too difficult for their parents to handle well. In all, about 1/3 of the 180-some children live in the boarding school.

The director told us that the students take “regular” academic classes, such as mathematics, history and language arts, although the courses are taught at a lower level than in other schools. The students also receive specialized vocational and social adaptation training, as the goal is that every young person will be independent, employable, and self-sufficient upon graduation.

The school also serves home-bound children, those who’s disabilities are so severe they cannot travel to or live in the school, such as children with severe epilepsy or anti-social issues. A special teacher visits such a child at his/her home, conducting academic lessons and socialization exercises. If/when the teacher feels the student is ready to participate in the group learning, the young person can start attending classes at the school and/or live there, depending on the various needs discussed above.

The director told us the overarching goal for the school is to make the kids feel “normal”, to help them feel not like they are outsiders but rather that they are just like other kids. He invited us to attend a concert the students were putting on that evening for their parents (unfortunately, both of us already had plans and we had to decline). He said they regular put on plays and concerts, they take lots of excursions around the city, and I had seen a bulletin board in the hallway with photos of a trip a summer camp in the Carpathian mountains. He told us how parents can be afraid to bring their children to the school, fearful , so he and the staff try to make the school as open and welcoming as possible. “It can be devastating,” he said, “when parents find out that their child is not like others. So it’s important that we help them feel comfortable, normal, and safe.”

During my Ukrainian lesson today, I was telling my teacher about the filming, and we started discussing adoption. By coincidence, there was a one-paragraph article in the newspaper we were using for the lesson about 37 children being adopted recently from one Ukrainian town, and something like 25 of them had been adopted by foreigners. She asked me why I thought Ukrainians so rarely adopt children themselves. This is certainly a sensitive topic, and I have some pretty strong feelings about it, but I opted for the more delicate approach. “It seems to me that it’s just not a part of the culture here,” I said. I told her a bit about my own experiences, that there were several adopted kids in my grade, that I know parents who adopted children, and, most significantly, my nephew was adopted by a lovely couple when my teenage brother and his girlfriend decided they were not ready for parenthood. I told her that for me it’s not the blood that makes someone family, but it’s the relationship.

And then she pretty much shut me down with the brilliant response “You just can’t understand, Ann, because you don’t have children.” Whatever.