MoldovAnn

С днём благодарения!

Today is a working day for us here in Kyiv, even at a place called American Councils for International Education (we are taking Friday off, though). We’ll spend this evening with at the Campsey’s, with dad and some other Americans. This will actually be my first Thanksgiving dinner with Americans since I’ve lived in Ukraine, and it will be Igor’s first “traditional” Thanksgiving dinner - turkey and all!

I am very thankful for so many people and things. First and foremost for my wonderful husband; I couldn’t ask for a better partner in my life. I am thankful for my family - parents and siblings both by blood and by marriage. I’ve been thinking about mom a lot lately, and I am especially thankful for the last conversation I had with her 2 days before she passed away. It was an “unscheduled” phone call, I’d had an “unknown” caller on my cell phone and thought I’d better check with my parents if it had been them calling on a Thursday about something important. Nothing had happened, thank goodness, and it was a really nice conversation with just my mom. I am thankful that my last memories of her are so warm. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over three years now since I last saw her and hugged her.

I am thankful for my wonderful friends, all over the world. I am thankful for my great colleagues and a job that I love.

I am thankful for ice cube trays and tomatoes picked from the vine and homemade wine and the internet and public transportation and warm clothes and sunny beaches and my iPod (OK, my dad’s iPod until I replace the one I killed) and decaf coffee and my cat and warm fresh bread and blue cheese and podiobooks and chocolate-covered halva and so very much more.

Igor’s birthday celebrations lasted nearly as long as our wedding celebrations. After our own celebrations on Thursday, we went to Korosten for the weekend, and 2 more days of fun.

Friday night with spent with friends at Anatoliy’s farm outside Korosten. I drove up after work, while Igor had come earlier in the day by bus. It was clear I was a more than a bit behind in the celebrations, but since I was driving, my fun was limited to the fabulous food. It’s not so fun to be sober amongst a bunch of drunk people, but I still managed to have a good time until about 11, when I’d had enough. We finally made it home close to 1 a.m.

Saturday we took Igor’s family to the awesome pizzeria. The owner lived for awhile in Italy and learned the art of pizza-making there, and has even built a special clay pizza oven. Actual Italians have told me it’s awesome pizza, and considering it’s the only decent restaurant in Korosten, it’s always our place of choice for any time we eat out. Good food and good times were had by all.

We noticed an odd and disturbing theme in Igor’s presents this year - a sake set, a flask with matching shot glasses, and a set of 6 malachite shot glasses. By the time he opened the third alcohol-oriented present, Igor was starting to worry that he might be an alcoholic (or at least his friends seem to think he’s a drunk). We now have enough booze sets to open a bar, I think. Is this a bad thing? Maybe not! But I’m glad I didn’t buy him the martini shaker and glasses. Those can wait until next year.

Our buddy Michael came up to Korosten Saturday afternoon, and we drove to the nearby forest so Michael could fulfill a long-time fantasy of mushroom gathering. I thankfully waited in the car while Igor, his parents and Michael tromped through the forest hunting the little fungi for a couple hours. My punishment came when we got home, when several bags of mushrooms were deposited before me for cleaning. Michael, anxious for the “full experience”, happily pitched in, and Igor, probably out of guilt, sat down to work too. In an hour or so, we had a big bucket of gorgeous mushrooms ready for cooking! And yuuuuummm, were they ever tasty. We had enough that we brought a bag back to Kyiv with us, and Igor added them to a fabulous pot of borscht that he whipped up. Yummy.

Sunday we hit the Korosten market, looking for a few bargains. Michael, photographer that he is, staked out the bus stop and photographed and talked up folks for a couple of hours. We finally headed back to Kyiv, Michael trying his hand at driving in Ukraine. He did well, but wasn’t ready for Kyiv traffic. But we made it home safe and sound.

All in all, a great, long and fun celebration of Igor’s birthday. Next weekend we head off to the Carpathian mountains. I hope the leaves haven’t all fallen yet!

We started the multi-day celebrations of my darling husband’s birthday today. We were awoken at 7:15 by some friends calling to wish him a Happy Birthday - we are both accustomed to the fact that there is no sleeping in on your birthday! That was just the first of a slew of calls he will get all day long from friends, relatives, and colleagues.

We’ll be in Korosten for the weekend, celebrating Friday night with friends, Saturday with family. Sunday Igor is taking Michael to the forest for mushroom hunting. I, happily, can finally be excused from this activity. I just don’t get any thrill out of it, but Igor, his parents, and millions of Ukrainians anxiously await mushroom season and gleefully spend hours skulking through the forests in search of mushrooms. Me? I think it’s hot, uncomfortable, boring, and an endless battle against mosquitoes. Of course I’m more than happy to help with the eating of the delicious mushrooms! That’s more my kind of sport.

I didn’t manage to get his birthday present here in time to give him today (a digital camera ordered from the US), so today he got a new camera bag with a lovely picture of his soon-to-be camera. When I left for work this morning, he was already scouring websites to learn all about his new toy. It should be here in a couple of weeks, when a friend comes back to Kyiv. Nothing like a bit of anticipation!

So, my darling - З днем народження!

The heat wave is officially over - and it’s freaking cold! The cat suddenly is interested in my company now that she’s cold - normally she tolerates us only because of our ability to open the refrigerator and spoon canned food into her bowl. But when she’s cold she becomes the nicest of lap cats.

Igor went to Korosten yesterday, and I’ll join him today. The car is in the shop because the motor burned out, leaving us without windshield wipers. It came as no surprise that they couldn’t find a new or used motor for our 1984 BMW, so they’re trying to repair our motor. Hopefully it won’t cost an arm and a leg, since the car itself is barely worth an arm, or a leg for that matter.

So I’ll be taking the bus to Korosten, something I haven’t done in quite a while. And for once I’m not too upset about that, maybe even a little bit glad ’cause it means I can work on my embroidery while someone else does the driving! I’m about half way done with my first cross-stitch. It’s got quite a few mistakes in it, but I’m plugging along. One important thing I learned is to not try to do it at 1:00 in the morning when I’m exhausted but can’t sleep - I ended up redoing the same little area about 5 times before I finally got it right. I couldn’t resist buying my next pattern yesterday. It’s got six colors (up from three with my first pattern), and involves two types of stitches, so it will be a challenge for me. But it’s relatively small, so I think it won’t be overwhelming. I looked again at the traditional Ukrainian patterns, for the ceremonial towels and shirts and things, but they are still way too intimidating. It’s fun to have something to work towards, though.

Speaking of goals - I went to Buffalo Expatriate’s farewell get-together last night (she’s moving back to the States). She’s been working with the International Organization for Migration, and doing research on trafficking and related issues. There was such an awesome, interesting diverse group of people at the bar. We went around the table introducing ourselves, with most people saying the usual “My name is…, I work/study at…”. One young Nigerian man introduced himself and said “I am going to the be president of Nigeria some day.” Talk about having goals!

But back to this weekend. Igor’s godson turned one this past week, and today is his birthday party. What do you wear to a first birthday party? I don’t think that this will be like an American baby’s birthday party, with lots of other kids crawling around and parents swapping parenting stories. I suspect this will be like most other Ukrainian celebrations - adult family and friends squeezed around a table overflowing with food, which will keep coming until long after you can’t eat another bite, and plenty of drinking and toasting. This would be the down-side of not having the car this weekend, as it’s always a great excuse for me to pass on the vodka shots when I’m “behind the wheel”. Maybe I’ll use the “I’m taking some medicine right now” excuse; that one usually works pretty well, too.

I guess it’s time to get myself together and head out to the bus station. Can’t wait to get to work on my cross-stitch!

Scott’s at a techie-geek conference (or in his words “big European consumer electronics show”) in Berlin this week, writing articles for the website CrunchGear.com. He stopped first in the Netherlands for a tour of the Phillips Research Labs, which is first articles are about. Very cool!

I had a lovely birthday. Lots of nice phone calls and electronic warm wishes from friends near and far. In Ukraine, the birthday person is supposed to bring sweets in for colleagues, and I decided to bake a big batch of muffins Wednesday night to take to the office on Thursday. We had fresh wild blueberries and sour cherries that we’d brought back from Korosten, so I whipped up a couple batches. With only one muffin tin that bakes 6 muffins at a time, it quickly became clear to me that it was not going to be a quick endeavor. 3 hours later, I’d had enough of the hot kitchen and called it quits. Dad sneaked a couple muffins, but most of them made it to the office on Thursday. They were quite a hit, and once word spread throughout the office, it was a great incentive for folks to come visit us up on the third floor.

I was sporting the absolutely beautiful bracelet that Igor gave me - citrons and blue topaz, to go with the presents of the last 2 birthdays, a blue topaz necklace and blue topaz earrings. The set is complete! Dad bought me the cell phone I’ve been coveting for ages. My colleague Anna gave me a really cool cookbook, with Ukrainian recipes in both Russian and English, and the most beautiful, appetizing photos!

I told Igor I didn’t want to do anything fancy this year, no evening out, nobody over, just me and my guys at home. The sweeties that they are, Igor and Dad had a cake with candles waiting for me when I got home and they sang “Happy Birthday.” Igor cooked a fabulous meal (as always). I had requested zucchini pancakes (like potato pancakes, only made with the zucchini). Being the creative overachiever that he is, he made up an entirely new recipe and combined all kinds of vegetables for the pancakes - beets, carrots, zucchini, etc. They were both pretty and delicious!

After dinner, Igor did the most beautiful thing. He told Dad that in the Far East they have a tradition that a husband who is happy with his wife gives gold to his father-in-law. Igor said “I am very happy with Ann, and I want to thank you.” He gave Dad a gold ring, which fit perfectly on Dad’s little finger. Dad got a bit misty-eyed, and finally said “I don’t know what to say.”

I can hardly believe sometimes that this amazing and wonderful man is my husband, that I get to live with him the rest of my life. What pure joy!

of Pigs… In…. Spaaaaacccceee!
Don’t know why that is stuck in my head today, but it is. I’d love to watch some Muppets right now.

Talked to the landlady again today to ask if we could stay until the end of September. It would just be so much easier if we could deal with all this a bit later. Igor and I both have business trips in August, Dad’s here until early September… She has this nasty habit of telling me what I should do, what I can do, and wanting to debate with me our decisions. During our last conversation, when I told her we couldn’t afford what she wants for the apartment, she said “Oh come on, I know you get $X for housing from UN.” I curtly told her she was misinformed, that in fact my housing allowance is half of what she quoted. She then told me that I should tell “them” to pay me more. If only it were so simple! But either way, it’s none of her business how much my living allowance is and how much I chose to spend on an apartment, but I didn’t manage to express that to her last time.

Well, this time I was better prepared to not get sucked into a discussion of my personal matters. I did say that with Dad visiting us until early September, it would be really helpful if we could stay until the end of September, and deal with moving after he is gone. She started in with her questions, and I promptly cut her off with “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to discuss our various reasons with you. It’s our personal business. Our question to you is whether or not we can stay until the end of September.” She was a bit surprised, but fortunately didn’t seem offended by my rebuke. She said her idea had been to get two students to rent the apartment starting in September, so she’s not sure. Then she asked if we had made a final decision to move out, don’t we want to stay there? It’s expensive to move, etc etc etc. I told her we would happily stay there but the bottom line is we cannot afford the price we wants. Much to my surprise, she said she could take it down $100, just for us because she’s used to us, we’ve never caused any problems, etc. But she couldn’t resist going into her usual pity party about how it’s hard for them as pensioners, they don’t have any other income, her husband had to go back to work, etc. I would feel sorry for her, if I hadn’t been to her apartment myself a few months ago and seen the brand new wide-screen digital TV, and if she hadn’t herself told me about how they got a new computer and wireless internet. I don’t think they are as hard-off as she likes to pretend.

In the end, we agreed to discuss it at the end of this month when she comes to collect for the utilities. It’s tempting to not move, we love the apartment and the neighborhood. Another two hundred dollars a month in rent will be tough, though.

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In other events, we had a nice weekend in Korosten with Igor’s family. Everybody loved the presents Dad brought them - overalls for Grandpa; shirts, jackets and jeans for Nina, Ivan, Oksana and Denis; and 3 bottles of barbecue sauce for Vova. He was practically drinking it straight from the bottle! And he nearly finished an entire bottle just at one meal. Good thing Dad brought a BBQ sauce recipe too!

Dad, Igor and I spent the night in the village house with Ivan on Saturday night. He’s done so much work there in the last couple of years, it’s really amazing. And in preparation for Dad’s visit, he had promised to make a summer shower. Usually a summer shower (at last in my experience) means the water is heated by the sun. Well, Ivan being the handy-man that he is, managed to hook up an electric water heater, so year-round hot water! You might not want to use it in the winter, though, since it’s more-or-less an outdoor shower (a little shed next to the house). We saw all the animals - 4 sheep, 2 pigs, 1 goat, a bunch of rabbits, and about 7 or 8 turkeys. He’s becoming quite the farmer! Sunday I picked fresh vegetables from the garden while Igor and Dad grilled a rabbit and Nina made ukha, a traditional fish soup that fisherman usually make after a successful catch. the guys only managed to catch 3 dinky little fish that morning in the nearby river, so Nina supplemented with a quick run to the fish market.

We had a leisurely lunch sitting in the yard, enjoying the lovely weather and good company. The drive that evening back to Kyiv was perfect - hardly any traffic at all. Dad opted to come back with us instead of staying in the village with Ivan. I’m not surprised, 2 days is usually my limit, too, and I can understand what everyone is saying! We’ll be back there several times in the coming weeks, so plenty of time to get more village-life experience.

Oh, and the muffler on the car finally crapped out. It’s been coming on for a while, we could tell, and last week’s trip to Andrei and Natasha’s dacha for the wedding party was the last straw, I think. The roads to get there were just awful, and the undercarriage of the car got banged hard a couple of times (it’s really low to the ground - not a good car for Ukrainian village roads!). We tried to find a working mechanic in Korosten on the weekend, but no such luck. A friend of Igor’s looked at it, though, and the good news is that it’s nothing dangerous or horrible. The bad news is it’s damn loud and a bit embarrassing driving down the street. We got back to Kyiv a bit deaf but otherwise in good shape. One more project for this week…

The old man arrived in Kyiv a couple hours ago - with two beautiful bottles of Jameson’s for me! He’s with us for the next six weeks. Well, partly with us in Kyiv and partly with Igor’s parents in the village and probably with us on some trips if we can get them organized.

We’re looking forward to checking out some different sites in Kyiv - it’s always good motivation to do some sight seeing when we have company. Dad’s seen pretty much all the highlights, so we’ll dig deeper into some of the less known places, I hope.

Isn’t it funny how something wonderful comes along right when you need it? Like the great news I got last night after my depressing funk about maniac drivers.

Petya and Marina got married!!!

Dad picked them up on Sunday and brought them back to Columbus, where they will live for the rest of their summer Work and Travel program. He took them to the courthouse Monday morning to find if they could get married in the US, and if so how. Turned out the answer was Yes and they could do it right away! I am so so happy for them.

We will also be sharing in another wonderful happy moment this weekend - Igor’s cousin Andrei is finally marrying his girlfriend of many years, Natasha. Andrei was best man at our wedding. They will have the civil ceremony on Saturday (just them and the witnesses), with the church wedding and small party on Sunday. We are honored to be included among the few people who get to share this important day in their lives with them.

Nothing like a wedding to make you feel positive again.

The past week is a blur. I remember the major outline, but the details are lost. We landed in Kyiv Monday morning and I was in the office by lunchtime. I finally stumbled home about 9pm, after several meetings to confirm plans for the regional workshop we were hosting in Kyiv, with about 40 people attending from all over Eastern Europe and the CIS, 1-3 July. I changed our vacation plans to be in Kyiv for this workshop, and although I really hate that we missed 4th of July in Columbus, it was important to be here for this event, even if I wasn’t anywhere near my best for most of it.

Tuesday morning Igor and I were both wide awake at 4:00 am, and finally decided to get up and go to the grocery store around 4:30. First time we’ve never had to wait in line there! I was at the workshop early, and had a long spacey day. Despite being exhausted all day, I suddenly was wide awake once I got home and couldn’t sleep hardly all night. Wednesday was similar, but I really wanted to visit with my UNV colleagues so I pushed through a long evening and had some friends over for dinner. The workshop wrapped up on Thursday, and we had a nice reception in the evening for everyone. I regretted leaving early, but I was near dead from exhaustion.

Friday we had an important meeting with the Ministry of Family, Youth and Sport about a project I’ve been developing for most of the past year. The project was approved! Just need to finalize the financing, which should happen next week. So, I could finally relax Friday afternoon. I met up with a couple UNV colleagues for a quick beer.

For the first time in 3 years, I was invited to the big Independence Day party at the American Ambassador’s residence. Although I was still really pooped, and was hosting a colleague overnight in Kyiv, I felt I just couldn’t pass up the invitation. It was a fun event, and I enjoyed spending a couple hours with American friends and making some new acquaintances. After that party, I met up with some UNV colleagues for a late night. We stumbled home around 1 am (I think) and collapsed.

Igor went to Korosten on Tuesday, planning to be there a day or two, but that turned into the whole week. After seeing my UNV colleagues off to the airport, I drove to Korosten to finally visit with his family and friends. I had really been looking forward to listening to Igor tell everyone about our trip to the US. I love to listen to him tell stories, for one thing, but also I learn a lot more about his impressions and perceptions when he tells other people about what we’ve done and where we’ve been. Unfortunately, I missed most of his stories this time since he’d been there a week and seen most everybody by the time I got to Korosten. I did hear a couple stories, though - like how awesome Niagara Falls are, and that Ohio is a great place for retirement ’cause everything is set up for comfort (drive-thru banking, drive-up drop off for the library, etc). Igor was also immensely impressed with the vast array of gardening tools my Dad has - a tool for every task, he said.

We had dinner with Igor’s family, then rushed off to meet up with some friends who were waiting for us at their dacha outside Korosten. I was driving, which meant I didn’t have quite as much fun as everyone else, but I honestly didn’t mind the excuse to not have to drink vodka. Time to dry out for a bit.

We slept like the dead Saturday night, and for the first time in weeks I felt like I had a full night’s sleep. We woke up at 9:30 - jumped up is more like it, since we had an appointment at 10. Neither of us could believe we’d slept for over 10 hours! After running some errands, we spent an hour or so picking raspberries and blueberries in the yard - yum! There are still some cherries on the trees, but we decided to pass this time. Igor’s mom made a fabulous spread for lunch (as usual), with the highlight being vareniki (dumplings) with cherries, blueberries and mullberries. We stopped by Igor’s college roommate’s house on the way to Kyiv to visit them and Igor’s godson, and of course a “quick stop” turned into an hour and a half and another bursting table of goodies. We finally made it home around 7:30. The first time in nearly a month when we are home alone, and what do we do? I start the laundry and he starts scrapping the ice out of our crappy freezer - the things that desperately need to get done but we haven’t had time to do for ages. Finally we settle down, open a bottle of wine, and he’s watching boxing while I catch up on my blog.

It hardly seems like we were in Columbus just a week ago.

two weeks have flown by.

We spent 2 days last week with my Moldovan friend Petya and his girlfriend Marina. Petya lived in Tvarditsa, and was my good friend and walking buddy in the village. He’s studying at a university not far from Moscow now, and met there the love of his life, Marina, who ironically grew up in a village not far from Tvarditsa. They had to go to university in Russia to meet each other! They are spending the summer on a Work and Travel program, and managed to get jobs in Ohio working concessions on the fair circuit. Not glamorous work, but they are getting quite the tour of small town America. We picked them up last Sunday and brought them to Columbus for the night. How strange and wonderful to meet my Tvarditsa friend in my hometown! We had a really good time with them.

Tuesday we took a long walk through the neighborhood, bought Igor an album for his growing collection of state quarters, and bought him a couple of buffalo steaks. It was a beautiful day, and we enjoyed admiring the lovely yards everywhere. We sat in a little park for a break, and to look through Igor’s growing collection of state quarters. Man, those things were getting heavy to be carrying around! Later in the week we found an album for him, and I thought it was going to be permanently attached to him. We were down to five missing quarters as of Saturday afternoon - which included 3 quarters that haven’t been minted yet, or at least that’s what I thought. That little genius Tyler showed at Dad’s birthday party with THREE of the missing quarters - including Arizona, which we didn’t know was available! So Igor brought back a near-complete set of state quarters, and next year we’ll have a good time finishing it up with Alaska and Hawaii.

Later in the day, Igor and Dad did a lot of yard work, while Tyler and I worked inside the house. She got an urge to bake, or more preciously she got an urge to eat sugar cookies so we baked a big batch of them, plus a pan of brownies. Yum!

In the early evening we went to the pool and we could finally make use of our new bathing suits. In Ukraine, all the women - no matter what age, no matter how big - all wear two-piece bathing suits. And the men all wear little Speedo-like things. I was very uncomfortable the first few times I went to beaches here, not being used to seeing so much skin and sometimes “too much information.” But after a bit I started to feel uncomfortable because I felt like I stuck out being the only person in a one-piece bathing suit. After one of my trips home I brought back with me the two-piece I bought at the peak of my Weight Watchers success, when I was feeling really great about my body. I had worn it maybe once or twice in the US but always felt self-conscious. Here in Ukraine, even with 15 pounds of weight regained, I feel really comfortable in my two-piece. And it’s so nice to be around people who don’t have so many body-image hang-ups, at least not on the beach. But as we planned for this trip to the US, I told Igor that I needed to get a new, one-piece bathing suit. He was really confused, and none of my attempts to explain why I just cannot wear a two-piece in the US seemed to help him. The matter was made even worse when I told him that he would have to get a new bathing suit, too, because he would not be able to wear his Speedo-like suit, at least not in Columbus. I think he thought I was kidding until I told him that I heard on an NPR podcast that a man was fined in Florida for wearing a Speedo (granted, I heard it on “Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me!”, which happens to be my main source of news these days). So our first day in Columbus he bought an “American” bathing suit, which he proceeded to wear as shorts for the next two weeks. When we finally went swimming Tuesday evening, he hated it - hated the feel of the shorts in the water, the way the poofed up, and he kept feeling like they were going to fall off.

Wednesday I saw “Sex and the City” with Cheria. Awesome movie! Thursday we drove down to Athens to visit Jenny and her family. I always forget how beautiful southern Ohio is, and Igor enjoyed the scenery as much as I did. Friday morning we got up early and drove west to Serpent Mound. It wasn’t as big as we had expected, but then again, after Niagara Falls nothing seems particularly big. Some of the Ohio Indian mounds are to be added to the UNESCO World Heritage Sites list, and since they are really special and unique, I thought it would be cool to visit them with Igor. We then took a leisurely drive along country roads back up to Columbus, stopping at a couple other state parks along the way. We also stopped at an Amish store, and Igor was thrilled to see some Amish people - “The only Americans who live like Ukrainians,” he said.

Friday night was a fabulous dinner at Madeleine and Dick’s with family and friends. Saturday morning we packed, which wasn’t nearly as bad as we’d expected. I should have brought another person along with me ages ago! The extra two bags made such a huge difference.

And then Saturday evening was Dad’s really nice birthday party. Lots of his friends and neighbors. And at the end of the evening he decided to crack open a 17-year old bottle of Armenia cognac he’s been saving for years. Wow, was it every awesome!

Sunday morning came much too quickly. Dad made his famous pancakes, and Scott, Carina, Tayler and Tyle r came over to visit a few more minutes with us. Cheria and Jahi met us at the airport for final goodbyes.

We are both so full of impressions, both of us still sorting them out. I was so happy when Igor said he’d really enjoyed the trip, everything we did and everyone we met. I enjoyed the washer and dryer, and having clothes cleaned and dried in under 90 minutes. We both enjoyed the convenience and ease of everything. We took Petya to the bank to open an account, and as we left he told me he couldn’t believe how nice the banker was - “They would never be nice to you in Russian,” he said. Yes, customer service is pretty darn good in the U.S. I like being able to pay everywhere with my debit card, but it’s also nice to use cash and never had problems getting change- never once did anyone yell at me to dig in my purse for coins because there wasn’t enough change in the till or the cashier didn’t want to be bothered counting out change. I love the ease and ability to recycle (it’s so painful to put paper in the trash can in Ukraine!).

There were some not-so-great things too. The fruits and vegetables taste like crap, there’s just no other word for it. Fresh Ukrainian produce beats the US hands-down. I missed having a beer during a leisurely walk on a hot day. Heck, I missed walking! Too much driving in the US. I was embarrassed by the number of just down right huge people that Igor noticed and pointed out to me. He was especially shocked to see obese people on their motorized chairs in the grocery store. He was also floored when I told him we couldn’t just go to the pharmacy and buy some antibiotics for his sinus infection, that instead it would involve a doctor’s appointment and a prescription.

Overall though, it was a wonderful two weeks. Lots of good times, lots of good food; great friends, great family. That’s what it’s all really about.

We’re having a great time being here. Niagara Falls was truly spectacular. On Tuesday we rode the Maid of the Mist and did the Caves of the Wind walk under the falls. It was so fun to see the look on Igor’s face - so thrilled to be there, so in awe.

Wednesday we took my nieces to Ohio State and walked around campus, visiting friends in different buildings. Thursday we drove to Ft. Wayne to visit Tanya, and we came back to Columbus on Friday in time for an evening at Club Diversity with chocolate martinis. Saturday was another Eddie Bauer Warehouse excursion, followed by a fabulous cook-out at Scott and Carina’s house. Even a thunderstorm couldn’t stop us from having a great time!

Food fantasies indulged:
Igor - steak, steak and more steak. He bought the biggest hunks of meat I have ever seen. One guy at the cook-out stopped dead in his tracks by the grill and said “What is that? Is that meat?”
Ann - chocolate martinis (Igor loved them too), Mike’s Hard Pomegranate Lemonade, more chips and salsa and various yummy dips.

We had brought a bottle of balsam from Crimea to share at the cookout. It’s a kind of liquor, made from something like 27 different herbs, and is supposed to be good for your health. You can put it in tea, or mix it with vodka. Igor was a hit at the cookout making cocktails for everyone to try the balsam and vodka. After one small drink, my 6′6″ brother stood up and said “Holy cow, I’ve got a buzz! What the heck is in that?” Somehow in our explanations of how great it is for you, we must have forgotten to point out it’s 80 proof, so mixed with vodka it’s a damn strong drink! Lots of people asked where they could buy it, but I doubt it’s sold here.

Igor’s playing Wii with the twins now. So funny.

We had a FANTASTIC time at Niagara Falls. We rode the Maid of the Mist, did the Cave of the Winds tour, and filled the camera memory card in less than 4 hours. I’ll post more photos later. We also drove up to Lake Ontario to Fort Niagara, which was really cool.

More food fantasies were indulged.
Igor: steak, yam (first one in his life), more Guinness beer, bacon.
Ann: Ceasar salads (2), pomegranate martini, tiny little burrito-like things that were fried (brilliant!), salt water taffy (bought it, haven’t eaten it yet), Morningstar soy-sausage breakfast patties, English muffins (about 8), more chips and salsa.

After looking at me in my cute new Eddie Bauer clothes for 3 days, Igor admitted he’s ready to go back to the warehouse store and actually look for himself now. I’ve converted him!

In addition to getting my Eddie Bauer fix, I have also been indulging in all my favorite and sorely-missed foods. I was in Columbus barely 12 hours before I asked Dad to take us to Graeter’s for THE best ice cream in the world - and not a prune or raisin anywhere near! (I’ll never understand why Ukrainians think prunes go well with ice cream.) I had a giant scoop of delicious cookies ‘n cream - now there’s a great combination that desperately needs to be introduced to Ukrainian ice cream makers!

I’ve also had lots of chips and salsa, baba ganoush, hummus (multiple varieties), Starbucks mocha frappuccino, and blueberry pancakes.

We had a great cook-out on Sunday at my Dad’s house. Several friends who came to Ukraine in December for our wedding joined us, and it was nice for Igor to have some familiar friends to talk to. He was busy most of the time, though, cooking shashliki - pork, beef and vegetable varieties on an open wood fire. Everybody raved about how great they were, but I think he won’t do that again during this trip. He was way too occupied with the slow and tedious process, and didn’t get to socialize with folks much.

Today we drove to Niagara Falls. It’s a pity we didn’t plan better and apply for a Canadian visa for Igor so we could enjoy the amazing view from the other side. But the American side is pretty damn impressive too. We arrived too late today to do the boat or cave excursions, but we’ll do them tomorrow morning. We got lots of fantastic photos, plus a couple cool videos.

We hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at Bob Evan’s, so by 7:30 pm we were damn ready for some dinner. We had wanted to eat at the Top of the Falls restaurant, but we were quite disappointed to find out it closed at 6. We ended up at Hard Rock Cafe, which was great. If I’ve been talking for months about clothes shopping, Igor has been talking for months about getting “real American steak.” Poor guy, it took three days to finally get one! He had the same look on his face after inhaling his New York Prime Steak as I think I had after my shopping spree at Eddie Bauer warehouse - a much needed and totally satisfying fix.

I’m too tired now to wait for all the photos to upload. I’ll write more later, and will post some photos here too.

We are in Ohio! After nearly 24 hours of travel time, numerous delays, and some tense moments in JFK airport, we made it to Columbus late Friday evening, with everything except one suitcase. Fortunately the bag with most of our clothes made it to Columbus, but the bag with most of the presents spent the night in New York and was delivered to us on Saturday afternoon.

Igor was really impressed with Dad’s backyard - it really is a beautiful place full of blooming flowers, shady trees, a little fish pond, and lots and lots of birds. By Saturday afternoon, Igor had announced that he will move to America if he can live in Dad’s backyard.

Shopping was first on the To Do list, as we had brought very little with us (on purpose!). A quick trip to Target for some toiletries ended up being an hour, but Igor got a bathing suit and looked through jeans. He told us how in Soviet times there were three brands of jeans that everyone knew and wanted - Lee, Levi’s and Wrangler. When he saw Wrangler’s on sale for $15, he was thrilled. I suspect we’ll be taking several pairs back to Ukraine with us.

We then went to a local market and got some pork and other cook-out essentials. Igor is going to cook shashliki for our cookout on Sunday, kind of like ke-bobs. Our last shopping adventure for the day was the best shop on earth, the Eddie Bauer Warehouse. I was not disappointed! We spent about an hour there, which was pushing Igor to his limits for shopping for one day. The men’s clothes weren’t on such a great sale, but the women’s summer shirts, skirts and dresses were fantastic. When we finally dragged our haul out to the car and were ready to head back home, Igor asked me if I was satisfied. I look at him with a huge smile and said it felt like I’d just shot up with the best dope around - man, did I ever need an Eddie Bauer fix!

We spent the rest of the afternoon at my brother’s birthday cook-out. He and his family moved into our grandma’s house last summer, and it was the first time I’d seen the place since Grandma died. They’ve done a fantastic job sprucing the place up, and yet have kept a lot of Grandma’s things and it all looks great together. The yard is also beautiful, and Scott told us his plans for the backyard that sound really awesome.

Most of the people at the cookout were Scott and Carina’s friends, of course, but Clintonville is small and our lives and friends overlap in many ways here. My classmate Bob lives a couple houses down from Scott, and I was really happy to see him, his wife Jane and their 5 kids when they mosey over. Bob and I went to school together from 1st to 12th grades, and he grew up across the street from Grandma’s house. We don’t know if we knew each other before 1st grade, but it’s very likely we did.

By 7:30 Igor and I were both ready to fall asleep in our beers, so we decided to walk home. We laid in bed for a bit, listening to the birds sing and really enjoying the peace and quiet. Igor said he’d never imagined it could be so lovely in a city. I’m so glad we came in the summer. I’m so glad we are here. I’m so glad Igor is here with me and that he likes it!

We are going to Korosten for the weekend to visit Igor’s family - last chance before we head to the States next Friday.

I always enjoy visiting them, and I’ve missed them since the last time we were there. But man am I tired. I was trying to remember last night when was the last weekend I was just plain at home, and I don’t know. Igor couldn’t remember either. And I don’t know when will be the next weekend when we will just lounge around and be couch potatoes together. I know I do it to myself - I can’t sit still for long!

In other news, Igor shaved the cat again. Not as bad as the first time we did, but still lightyears away from the beautiful sleek creature that the salon would return to us. She seems happy enough with either style - elegant “booties” on her feet and a poof on her tail or bits and patches of fur here and there. He did a good job around her face, I give him credit for that, so if you can manage to just look at her adorable face and ignore the rather pathetic body, she’s lovely. Otherwise, you can’t help but laugh. And now that she’s not roasting in her fur coat, she’s all lovey-dovey again, sleeping under the covers with us, constantly on my lap snuggling. She’s purring up a storm at the moment. Oh how I love it.

In a week we’ll be in Columbus! I can hardly believe it’s been a year and a half since I’ve set foot in the good ole U.S. of A. I can’t wait to see family and friends, to show Igor the places I love, my hangouts from childhood and college.

Most of all, I can’t wait to go to Graeter’s ice cream, eat Mexican food (tragedy! My beloved Casa Fiesta has closed; thank god El Vaquero is still open), and dine at Aladdin’s. I want greasy Chinese food, especially egg rolls, and I can’t wait to eat so much salsa that I turn into a sombrero. I’m also desperate to get to Eddie Bauer Warehouse and re-stock my wardrobe and buy great presents for family and friends in Ukraine.

Igor told me that of all the places he’d like to visit in the US, Niagara Falls is at the top. Fortunately, it’s an easy drive from Columbus and we can make a nice overnight trip out of it. We’ve got reservations at a hotel right by the Falls, which Igor was most excited about when I told him breakfast was included - “Full American breakfast?” he asked. Oh hell ya!

Igor’s reading over my shoulder as I write and is concerned that all my food fantasies are because I don’t like his cooking. So, for the record, my husband is a fantastic cook and I am extremely lucky to be so well fed. If he picks up some new ideas and tastes in the US, all the better!

Cookout at Dad’s house June 15, at Scott and Carina’s house June 21, and various Happy Hours (mostly at Mexican restaurants - are you picking up on the theme here?) throughout the two weeks we’ll be in Columbus. It’s much too short of time, I know, but I am grateful for every minute. We hope to see as many people as we can.

We spent the long weekend in Korosten to celebrate Orthodox Easter with Igor’s family. We also celebrated Denis’ 16th birthday (Igor’s nephew) and the 17th wedding anniversary of Oksana and Vova, Igor’s sister and brother-in-law and the proud parents of the handsome birthday boy. We knew it would be 3 days of eating, drinking, laughing, and relaxing, plus some tough moments as it was the first family celebration since the death of Igor’s grandmother.

We took our time heading up there on Saturday, spending the beautiful morning with a new colleague, her husband and their 1.5 year old daughter. They’ve been in Kyiv about 3 weeks, and are still trying to get oriented and settled in. We took them to the farmer’s market and the supermarket, and generally enjoyed getting to know them better. Their daughter is just as cute as can be, and they are a very nice couple- she’s just a year younger than me, and we seem to have a lot in common. I’m looking forward to spending more time with both her and her parents.

We took a roundabout way to Korosten, driving first to Ivankiv for a quick visit with my friend Valentina, whom I was supposed to visit last weekend, when car trouble nixed those plans. Valentina is an amazing artist, poet, and lover of traditional Ukrainian arts and crafts. Her real speciality is “floristica”, making beautiful pictures from dried flowers and leaves. She spends tens, sometimes, hundreds of hours on a creation - each unique, each very delicately and purposefully designed and created. The colors, the designs, the types of flowers and leaves, even the arrangment of the scene - it all is created in a specific way for good fung shui. Sometimes they are so detailed and so intricately crafted that it’s only when you look at a picture up superclose do you realize it’s not a painting but instead made from hundreds of tiny petals. They are really breathtaking. I am the proud owner of 3 of her works of art, my favorite of which is called “Sea Fantasy”, with two beautiful blue goldfish with billowing tails, swimming with a school of tiny fish in a coral reef. Just breathtaking.

I have about ten of Valentina’s pictures that I am trying to help her sell - she’s an extremely talented artist, but not so hot at business. She ends up giving away a lot of her pictures because she’s just so sweet and she loves to give people presents. But with two sons in university, she really needs the money. I’ve sold two of her pictures so far, and I figured her earnings would be especially useful now with Easter and the upcoming May holidays. I was also excited to finally see for myself her flower garden I’ve heard so much about. Did I mention that she grows all the flowers and dries them herself? Her house and yard were even more fantastic than I had imagined. She gave us a tour of her house, which really is more like a greenhouse at a botanical garden. Dozens of different kinds of plants in every room, each with a special trait and purpose. Every room also had stacks of books with bits of newspaper sticking out from between the pages - her drying method. She opened one book and casually flipped through probably twenty pages, each with one or two delicate petals carefully arranged and pressed. I can’t even imagine how many thousands - maybe millions? - of petals and leaves she has pressed and drying in her house! It was really amazing. It’s still too early for much to be blooming in her garden, a few tulips were up, but she pointed to different spots and described what would be coming up. I can’t wait to see that garden again in June or July! Selling Valentina’s pictures not only makes me happy that I can help her with some much needed (and well-earned) income, but I also look forward to seeing her and her garden when I deliver her money. After the short visit with Valentina, we enjoyed the drive through the countryside. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, and it was fun to drive with the sunroof open.

We arrived in Korosten in early evening, had a light meal, and then headed to the family banya. Igor’s father built a parnaya banya (steam bath) years ago, but it hadn’t been in working order for a couple of years so I never could try it before. I’ve heard many a banya story, and was always quite curious about them, but have never had the opportunity to try a real Russian banya before. I was also especially curious about the infamous tradition of beating yourself with birch branches. I just couldn’t even imagine what it was like. Igor loves saunas and banyas, with an insane passion even. I don’t enjoy the dry heat of a sauna so much, but I occassionally go to a sauna with him mostly because I enjoy being with Igor and I like seeing the pleasure that he gets from a good long bake. He was excited to introduce me to his beloved banya, and in retrospect admitted that he got kind of carried away and should have introduced me more slowly to the experience. It wasn’t traumatic, it was just surprising and temporarily unpleasant.

The banya house has a two rooms, plus a small corridor lined with windows. The first small room has hooks for hanging up your clothes, a couple stools, and the small metal door of the wood-burning stove. The next room has a shower head hanging from the ceiling and a bath, and the door to their small banya, which is kind of like a closet. It is long enough for two people to lay end to end, and just slightly wider than a person. A small metal door at one end opens to a small wood-burning fireplace, from which a long, wide metal tube extends the length of the banya and which is lined along its sides with fist-sized stones. You open the wooden door and step up high to get onto the a long wooden shelf which is fixed right above the metal tube. I crawled up and in, not really crazy about the smallness of the space. The wooden shelf on which you sit was really hot and I found it very uncomfortable to sit on. Igor gave me a two-by-four board to slip under my bum, but that didn’t help with my legs and other parts touching the shelf. I was trying to handle it gracefully, he had such a huge grin on his face and was so happy to be sharing his beloved banya with me!

He told me to stretch out my legs, and then he started gently whacking them with a fistful of long birch branches covered with leaves, called a venik. The leaves had been soaking in water, and the aroma was really pleasant. But the whacking was a bit weird, I have to say. It’s like an exfoliant, scraping away the layers of dead skin cells as well as dirt and grim. After a short venik session, Igor filled a dipper with water and splashed the stones lining the metal tube. Steam billowed up and it was HOT. I couldn’t get out of their fast enough. That was the part that later Igor admitted he should have warned me about. The steam lasts just 15-20 seconds and then dissipates, but it was so intense it freaked me out. There was no way he was getting me back in that thing, so we took one of the requisite breaks. We sat in the first room with the stools and drank a glass of beer.

After we’d cooled off a bit, Igor was ready to go in again, but I still wasn’t feeling good about it. He explained the whole ritual (it really is a ritualistic process in the banya), how it works, what to expect, etc. You steam, beat yourself with the venik, cool off under the cold shower, sit in the resting room and drink and snack, and start the cycle over again. It can go on for several hours, until “you’re done”. How do you know you’re done? Your skin is good and red, and turns white when you touch it. There’s no set time for everyone, each person is different.

Igor steamed a few more times, and I threw the water on the rocks for him. He closed the door tight and I could hear him whacking away with the venik. Eventually he got me to go in again, but we agreed no more steaming rocks for me. He gave my back a good workover with the venik. I finished up and went back to the house while he stayed another ten minutes or so. “How was it”, his mom asked me. “Interesting.” When Igor came back in the house, I started to say the traditional post-shower phrase “s lyokim parom”. Anya taught me that phrase when I first moved to Tvarditsa. I remembering asking what it meant and she said she didn’t really know, it was just what you said to some after they took a shower or bath. Kind of like a “hope you had a good bath”. Literally it means “with light steam” but expressed in the Russian way of congratulating someone on the occassion of an event - as in “I congratulate you with your birthday” or “I congratulate you with your light steam”. Sounds strange, I know, and I could never understand the phrase - that is until I said it to Igor after his good steam! Nothing like a little cultural context to put some meaning into a language.

Sunday was Easter, which meant the end of the Great Fast (Veliki Post’), or 40 days when strict observers do not eat meat or dairy products. Igor’s father keeps post’ strictly (it is also observed during advent before Christmas), and usually Igor observes it just the last week before Easter. This year he decided to observe it for about a month. I don’t know who was more anxious for it to end- me or him. I swear, all the man could talk about the last week was meat. I think he was even dreaming about meat. Since I’m a vegetarian, he didn’t find much sympathy from me in his suffering, but I sure was suffering from his endless talk about every possible variety of meat.

Ivan went to church in the middle of the night (2 or 3 am?) for the Easter mass, loaded up like everyone else with his basket of food to be blessed by the priest. The rest of us got up around 6:30 to have the first big feast of the day. We start with the hard-boiled eggs dyed red (boiled with onion skins to make the special deep red color). Each person holds one egg in his or her fist, and then you tap one end of your egg onto the end of your neighbor’s egg, to see which egg cracks. Then you flip them and do the other ends. It’s fun to see who has the strongest egg, who’s egg can crack the most other eggs. Then you peel and eat. Then you dive into the overflowing table. There were a couple veg dishes added to the usual meat-laden menu for me, and I was quite content. Of course Nina fussed and worried that I didn’t have “anything” to eat, which was quite far from the truth. I did just fine, and I was happy to not over-indulge as often happens at these celebrations.

We sat around eating and drinking and talking for a couple of hours, then everyone retired back to their beds to sleep off the hard work of the morning. Around noon, Igor and I went with his father to the cemetery to make the traditional offering at the graves of departed relatives. Then we went to their village house to check on and feed the animals. Ivan bought a sheep last winter, which gave birth to a lamb the day before our wedding in December. He’s growing up fast, and both Igor and his father were speculating when he’ll be ready for shashliki (i.e., barbeque). It was a beautiful day, and Igor and I strolled around the field while he dad tended to the sheep and rabbits, enjoying the fresh air and quiet village sounds.

Back home, after another resting period, we headed next door to Oksana’s house for Denis’ birthday celebration. Turning 16 is an important event - you get your own passport, which is akin to becoming a legal adult in many ways. You are no longer just a note in your parents’ passports. Denis is a typical moody teenager, and the celebration was obviously more fun for his parents and grandparents, but he suffered through for a respectable amount of time and then was released to go hang out with his friends. We continued the party without him.

After a couple hours Igor and I were both ready to get as far away from food as possible. We decided to go for a walk in the beautiful park in the center of town. It was a sunny, warm day and it seemed like most of Korosten had the same idea as us. I still sometimes find myself scandalized to see people drinking alcohol openly the street, especially bottles of vodka at 8 in the morning (open containers are legal in Ukraine). Every once in a while though, I get a kind of guilty pleasure out of walking through the park with a beer. This was one of those days when I wanted to indulge, so Igor bought me a bottle and I sipped at it as we strolled.

The evening was quiet at home, everyone was satiated and relaxed. Monday we lounged in bed late reading our books. We started back to Kyiv around 1, driving through a light drizzle most of the way. I had a workout scheduled at 6 with Elena, and boy was it a tough one. I’m glad I planned it that way, though - it kept me motivated throughout Monday to take it easy with the food!

All in all, a very nice weekend. And Nina sent us home with enough leftovers for an army!

And summer=potatoes, and fall=potatoes, and winter=potatoes - at least in Ukraine. In spring, the country is obsessed with planting potatoes. (In summer it’s weeding the garden, including the vast potato patch; in Autumn it’s harvesting potatoes, which is much harder work than planting them; and in winter it’s eating potatoes over and over and over). Igor was called home by his parents to help with the spring planting this past weekend. I meekly asked if I should help to, and didn’t ask twice after he told me no. Instead, I planned an outing with my colleague and friend Elena.

After our usual Saturday morning fitness class, we planned to go about 90 minutes north of Kyiv to Ivankiv to visit my friend Valentina and to see a couple of the youth centers in the area. Elena is from Bulgaria, and although she’s been in Ukraine almost 2 years, she has not had much opportunity to travel outside of Kyiv. She’s heard me talk a lot about the youth centers and has expressed interest in seeing one or two of them. Perfect outing for a spring Saturday. Unfortunately, my car didn’t seem to agree. The good thing was that the car decided to stage its rebellion while we were still in Kyiv. I don’t want to even think what a nightmare it would have been to deal with a broken down car 100 kilometers from home!

It was the weirdest thing - suddenly, pressing the gas pedal caused no reaction in the car at all. The engine was running, but I couldn’t accelerate. Fortunately, we were able to coast to the side of the street to a not-too-busy spot. I called my mechanic, who called a tow truck for me. By the way, a tow truck is called “evakuator”, which for some reason I think is kind of funny. Anyway, after about an hour the tow truck arrived, hoisted the car up, and we enjoyed a pleasant chat with the nice driver on the way to the mechanic’s. Elena loves talking to taxi drivers, and I always find it amusing and entertaining to ride with her as she never fails to get a driver chatting. It didn’t take much to get this driver talking. He was particularly interested to know how much gasoline costs in the US. The last I heard, I told him, was that it was about $3/gallon, but I can never remember how many liters are in a gallon. Not to worry - he knew exactly - 3.8. (I just heard today that it’s up to $4/gallon.) It’s up to 6 hrivna/liter in Kyiv, which is about $1.20/liter or $4.50/gallon. When Ukrainians complain to me that they pay higher prices than in the US, I usually tell them they are lucky they’re not paying western European prices (i.e. $2.40/liter or $9/gallon as it was in Netherlands in February). But still, the prices are painful.

After dropping the car off at the mechanic and relieving my wallet of 318 hrivna (about $63), Elena and I were getting went in search of lunch. We ended up at a nice little Armenian cafe where we both got “lavash pizza”. It was fabulous, and along with a beer was a perfect way to chill after the stress of the car adventure. We were nearby the Botanical Gardens, which Elena had never been to, so we walked over in hopes of seeing the magnolia trees in bloom.

The line was ridiculous. In true Ukrainian fashion, on one of the first beautiful spring Saturdays, only one ticket window was working. The line snaked around several times, spilling out into the street. Even more brilliantly, only one gate was open and it was being used both for entering and exiting the gardens. The crowds of people pushing against each other in attempt to get into and out of the place would have been amusing if I wasn’t waiting to participate in the mayhem myself.

Once we finally got inside, we followed the crowds to the magnolia garden. I really regret that I didn’t have my camera with me! The tulip beds were gorgeous - and so many different varieties! We enjoyed strolling under the big pink and white blooms of the magnolias, and then found a quiet spot in the shade of a tall tree covered in delicate white buds. I don’t know what kind of tree it was, but the aroma was just perfect - kind of like honeysuckle. We sat and talked, enjoying the sunshine and tree’s perfume.

Sunday was gray and rainy, but tons of people were out enjoying the warmer weather, despite the drizzle. Dems Abroad got together to watch a recording of the Clinton-Obama Pennsylvania debate. What a load of garbage that was. Most of us left after the first hour when not a single question of substance, like about their policies, was asked. A thoroughly disappointing debate, which provide any information that would actually help one to make an educated decision about a candidate. Hopefully this primary mess will be over in a day, and then we can get onto the mess of the actual presidential election.

And as for the car, I didn’t really understand what the mechanic said happened , but he only charged 30 hrivna ($6) to fix it! We have now spent about the same on the car as we actually paid for the car - a hundred something to register it, and nearly 900 in tune up and repairs. Still, I can’t complain! We certainly couldn’t find another decent car for $2000. We might be taking our first long car trip/vacation over the upcoming holidays - stay tuned!

Oh, and the upcoming holidays are: 27 April, Orthodox Easter; 1-2 May, International Labor Day; 9 May, Victory Day. Most of the country gets all of next week off (28 April - 2 May), although UN only officially takes 28 April (for Easter) and 1 May as holidays. And many people will add on another week of vacation through 9 May, so the country is, for all intents and purposes, closed for 2 weeks in May. Igor and I, of course, couldn’t manage to organize ourselves in time to take advantage of all the free days, but we’re looking to take a few days right after the “May holidays”, which I hope will actually be better for us - everyone else will be back at work and we can enjoy some quiet, relaxing travels together. Let’s hope it works out!

Having recently gone through the US visa application process with my Ukrainian husband, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of gleeful revenge when I read this article about the “new” visa application procedures Ukraine is introducing for foreign tourists. I’d love to see some of those State Department folks go through the humiliating (and expensive) hoops of fire that our embassies call “visa application process.”

After his interview with the embassy official, during which their goal seemed to be to trap even the likes of Mother Theresa in lies, Igor rather meekly said to me, “You know, after this experience, I really don’t want to go to your country.” And his interview was rather mild compared to the many horror stories I’ve heard.

I myself was left disillusioned and disappointed with my country, too. The What’s On article captures beautifully the standard practice of many embassies in Ukraine. Would we accept similar treatment of our own citizens?

As of 1 April, when the new law comes into effect, all foreigners wishing to visit Ukraine will have to undergo a complicated and extensive visa application process. The process of applying for a visa for Ukraine will have to be commenced a minimum of six weeks before travel… By the new law, it is also compulsory that the interview itself is as humiliating and degrading as is humanly possible, and that all applicants are treated with the utmost suspicion… It is necessary they prove (a romantic) relationship is ‘real’ and they will not be a flight risk… Applicants will also have to prove their earnings in their home country to further ensure they will return once their visa has expired… The visa fee will be $500 to start with, and this will be paid along with the initial application and will not be refundable should the application be denied, which is highly likely as, according to the law, at least 50% of applications have to be rejected.

And all this is only for visitor visas. Obtaining a work permit for Ukraine is already a difficult task that requires that all foreigners can only take a job here if no Ukrainian can perform the task to the same standard. Under the new law, this criteria is going to be much more strictly enforced, and the candidate will have to prove their suitability by providing diplomas, a CV, and by sitting a series of oral and written exams on the subject. Obtaining a work permit in no way guarantees a work visa to go with it, and the system of applying for such a visa will be even more rigorous than that of a visitor visa.

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In another, non-April Fool’s Day, conundrum - how do I file my US taxes when my spouse doesn’t have a U.S. social security number? The most I can find on the IRS website is that my spouse should apply for one. Frankly, since we do not live in the US and neither of us earns money from a U.S. organization, I really don’t see the reason for him to get a SSN. Any ideas or suggestions, anybody?